🔗 Share this article

At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he states. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

In his case, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually followed by a “sudden low”, a period when he feels sensitive and self-conscious about his behavior, leaving him especially susceptible to negative feedback from those around him. He began to think he might have NPD after investigating his behaviors on the internet – and was later diagnosed by a professional. However, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had previously arrived at that realization by himself. When someone suggests to somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – most notably if they harbor feelings of superiority. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And in that mindset, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Though people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, definitions vary what the term implies the diagnosis. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he suggests many people conceal it, due to significant negative perception around the illness. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through things like displaying material goods,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

While a significant majority of people identified as having NPD are males, research suggests this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that women with NPD is more often presented in the covert form, which is often overlooked. “Men’s narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, similar to everything in society,” notes an individual who shares content on her dual diagnosis on digital platforms. It’s fairly common, the two disorders are comorbid.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with receiving negative comments and not being accepted,” she says, since when I’m told that the problem is me, I either go into self-protection or I completely shut down.” Although experiencing this reaction – which is known as “narcissistic injury”, she has been trying to overcome it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the negative conduct of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where we’ve agreed, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if I say something manipulative, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mainly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples during development. It’s been a process of understanding continuously the difference between suitable or harmful to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my household were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Origins of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be associated with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those familiar tactics as adults”.

In common with many of the NPD-diagnosed people, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve good grades and life achievements, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “acceptable.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, similar to his experience, struggles with feelings. She is “highly empathetic of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he says – it was in fact, her who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an assessment and was given the NPD label. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions through national services (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the patient queue for a year and a half: It was indicated it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a few individuals about his NPD diagnosis, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, privately, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he comments. Those interviewed have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the condition. But the existence of online advocates and the rise of online support communities suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number